Senshi In School
by Angel Acetylcholine
Summary: What if Senshi went to a normal American school? Not for the serious. Flames will be used to make my marshmallows.
1. School's in session?

Senshi in School

By Scarlet Starlet of the Wind

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, nor do I own the concept of Middle School. I mean, who'd want to anyway? (Middle school, not Sailor Moon)

"...WHAT????"

It was an early morning in Juuban. The birds were whistling, the sky was blue, and the sun had a little smiley face attached to it. People were just tra-la-la-la-ing along walking in the street. But Usagi had a problem.

"What _now_, Usagi? Would you quit screaming?" Luna asked impatiently.

"I-I-I'm being sent back to school!"

"Well, that's no surprise," Luna scoffed.

"I'm being sent back to the _seventh grade_! And I have to go to America." Usagi said, sadly.

"Sent...to...America?" Luna's eyes danced with joy, as Usagi's filled up with tears.

"I'll have to leave you here and leave Artemis here, and leave Shingo and Mommy and Daddy and Mamoru and Rei and--"

"But that's only for a year."

"But it's a year away from you and Artemis and Shingo and Mommy and Daddy and Mamoru and Rei and--"

"But it'll be only a year. You can do it. You're Sailor Moon, Usagi, you can do anything!"

Usagi sniffed. "I guess..." She said this with uncertainty.

Suddenly, a certain someone appeared in her room. "Hello, Usagi, it's me again, your good friend Kokoro. Guess what? You're going to Middle School with me!"

"Kokoro, I don't wanna go."

"You have to. I'm the authoress. I will make you go."

"FINE, Kokoro-sama, I will...I guess."

"_Please_," Kokoro insisted, "I'm in this story now. Call me Kokoro."

"Okay." Usagi smiled.

"Besides," Kokoro assured, "Rei, Ami, Makoto, Minako, Setsuna, Mamoru, Chibi-Usa and Hotaru are coming."

"What about Michiru and Haruka?"

"What about them?"

"They're not coming?"

"They're not gonna _be_ in _any_ story I write."

"Ok, then."

"I got to go, and tell everyone else about the letters they have recieved."

"Okay Kokoro. Bye."

"Until later, Usagi. Until later..."

Kokoro disappeared in a sparkly, scarlet flash.

"WHAT??? I THOUGHT I WAS SMARTER THAN THIS!!!" Ami yelled. "I feel so EMO!!!" She began to roll on the floor with a plastic, edgeless nail filer trying to cut herself, yelling, "BEING SENT BACK TO SEVENTH GRADE...EMOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Then she stopped and realized that she really didn't feel emo and stood up and fixed her hair, and looked at the letter again.

"WHAT??? I THOUGHT I WAS SMARTER THAN--"

"Please," Kokoro said, appearing, "Stop it."

"Ok." Ami stopped. "Anyway, why am I back in the seventh grade?"

"Because you just are. This is for a story I'm writing."

"That's cool, then. But why America?"

"Because I live there."

"Okay, then, Kokoro-sama."

"I'm in this story, Ami. Call me Kokoro."

"Are you sure, Kokoro-sama?"

"CALL ME KOKORO!" Kokoro commanded, sharply.

"Ok, ok, I will, I will!"

"Now, it's off to Rei. The rest of the senshi are there because they think it's a youma attack."

"Watch out, or they'll think YOU'RE a youma."

"Heh, I've got some tricks up my sleeves for them if they do."

Kokoro disappeared in flashes of sparkling scarlet.

"Oh. My. Goodness. I just got a letter saying I have to go back to seventh grade." Setsuna said, "I'm not going back to seventh grade."

"I know, we must consult the sacred fire!!!" Rei said, "OHH FIRE!!! COME OUT!!!"

The fire came out and danced around. "Sun, moon, fire, star, sun moon, fire, star, sun, moon, fire, star, sun, moon, fire..."

"You are going back to seventh grade...wheather you like it or not..." The sacred fire danced away.

"NOOO!!" They all chorused. "Authoress, give me some answers!"

Kokoro appeared in flashes of sparkling scarlet.

"Hello, everyone. Welcome."

"Are you a youma?" Chibi Usa asked, "If so, let's go, youma!!"

"I'm Kokoro."

"Kokoro?"

"The authoress."

"OH NO IT'S A TRAP!!" Minako yelled, "VENUS STAR POWER!!"

"Here we go."

"VENUS LOVE CHAIN ENCIRCLE!!!"

Kokoro easily grabbed the other end of the chain and wrapped the mentally unstable Minako in her own chain. "Please. Give me a break, girl."

"I-can't-break-free!!! HELP ME!!!" Minako yelled.

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IS GOING ON!"

Everyone sat down immediately, after Koneko's screaming bout.

"Thank you. Now. You are in middle school again for a little story I've written. You're gonna go to America and have a lot of fun. And you can take the cats."

("Aw, man!" Luna said, snapping her paw.)

"Now. Come on. Follow meeeeee!" A rainbow appeared, of scarlet, black and sparkly scarlet and black.

"Why isn't your name Akane? It means 'deep red'," Asked Makoto.

"Because, I don't want people to confuse me with an anime character from another anime. That's why I'm Kokoro! And if you don't get it, that's too bad." Kokoro explained. "Now...FOLLOW MEEE!!"

Everyone jumped in the rainbow, and they were transported to an airport. Usagi, Luna, Ami and Artemis were already there.

"Ok, everyone, let's go! We're goin' to America." Kokoro said.

They walked up to the booth, while Kokoro said, "Tickets for..." Kokoro paused to count on her fingers, "Tickets for thirteen, please?"

"Ok, that'll be 240,000.00." The clerk added. "In yen."

"You don't _charge_ me for stuff. You better give me a free ride to America or I'll never let you forget who's who."

"SECURITY!!!"

Kokoro pulled out a scarlet transformation pen. "Scarlet...Crisis...Power!!!"

"Oh, my goodness..." The clerk gaped.

Kokoro transformed into Sailor Scarlet before the clerk - and senshi's - eyes. She transformed in flashes of sparkling scarlet. Her hair turned black with scarlet streaks, and it went down her back. Her skirt was scarlet and the gloves were black. Other than that, it was white.

She finished her graceful transformation, and said, "I am Sailor Scarlet! And if you don't give me those tickets for free, you're punished!"

"TAKE THEM ALL!!!!!" He threw tons of tickets at Sailor Scarlet and crew, yelling, "GO AWAY!!! GO AWAY!!" When Security arrived, he waved a quick, "No! No!" And they saw Sailor Scarlet and never came.

"Thank you!" She cheerfully said, and walked away.

The clerk grabbed Ami's plastic, edgeless nail filer and tried to cut himself, yelling, "WHY DO I FEEL SO EMO??"

The eleven people (plus Luna and Artemis) walked through security. Nothing beeped. They were afraid of Sailor Scarlet, however. She walked through proudly, and when she got on the plane, she powered down.

"Oh my goodness!" Minako said. "I didn't know you were a Senshi!!!"

"You're cool," Usagi said, brandishing a autograph book and a pen. "Can I have your autograph?"

"Sure." Kokoro scribbled a quick autograph and gave it back to Usagi.

"Dear Usagi," Usagi read, "Hi." Usagi squealed and fainted like a hippie teenage girl at a Beatles concert. (A/N: I don't own the Beatles or the hippie teenage girls who faint at their concerts.)

"Um, okay...?" Ami question Usagi's fainting.

So they were strapped in and they were flown to America.

Read and review! Flames will be used to make my marshmallows...mmm...


	2. Where to live?

Senshi In School

By Scarlet Starlet of the Wind

(Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or the concept of Middle School, or any of the hotels or inns mentioned.)

A/N: I know it's taken forever, but my mom likes to be on the computer for ten hours straight, playing some stupid game!!!

"Well, we're here!" Kokoro smiled. "Charity Airport."

"This is America? This is weird." Hotaru remarked.

"I know, but guess what? I get to go to Elementary School instead of a middle school because I'm only ten!!"

"Not anymore, you're not." Kokoro zapped Chibi-Usa with the age-ifier, making her three years older. "How does it feel to be a teenager?"

"AAAHHH!!! MY FACE! MY FACE! IT'S COVERED IN CHICKEN POX!!! I HAVE THE CHICKEN POX!!"

"No you don't, it's called acne."

Usagi shook her head. "This teenage stuff is not gonna work for me. Can we leave her at 10 and just say that she skipped 4th, 5th and 6th grade?"

"We can do that." Kokoro zapped Chibi-Usa again with the age-ifier and she became her normal ten-year-old self.

"I'm me! I'm me!" Chibi-Usa danced around. "WOOH!"

"Ok, so, where are we staying?"

"Well, do you really want to know?" Kokoro asked.

"I don't think I want to know," Minako replied.

"Well, I'm gonna tell you. We are temporarily living in Econo Lodge because Galaxia found a way to get into people's penthouses and tear them apart."

"ECONO LODGE???" They all yelled. "There is no way we're living in Econo Lodge. You're joking with me, right?"

"No. I'm serious."

"All I know is that cats aren't allowed." Luna said, "I'm gonna go mug someone with my talking abilities and go back to Tokyo."

"Me too!" Artemis chorused.

"But LUNA, I can't lose you!! Oh, I know how you can stay and go with us!" Usagi was going to power up. "Moon Cosmic Power...Make Up!!!"

She transformed into Sailor Moon. "Moon...Turn-Luna-Into-A-Human...Super Scepter Thwack!" She thwacked Luna in the head with the Moon Sceptre. And Luna turned into a human.

Artemis began to run. He didn't want to go.

"I think I can do a long-range!" Sailor Moon said, "Moon...Turn-Artemis-Into-A-Human...Super Scepter Long Range Attack!!!" It hit Artemis and he became a human. "NO!!!!!!" Artemis yelled. "I...I'm...I'm a human...and I have to go back to 7th grade..."

"It's okay, Arty. I'm here to protect you! This is powerful energy that we've gathered for you--"

"I'm NOT Nehelenia!!"

"Anyway," Kokoro butted in, "We should go to our temporary housing -"

"WE ARE NOT GOING TO ECONO LODGE!" Everyone yelled at the top of their lungs. Kokoro blinked.

"Ok, ok, then. Where do you want to go - I guess I'll have to get it for free, again."

"Days Inn!" Setsuna cried out. (A/N: Get the pun? Days Inn? Senshi of time? (cricket) Ok, ok. And, yes I will put parentheses inside of parentheses if I want to!)

"Red Roof Inn!" Rei yelled.

"Super 8 Hotel!" Hotaru yelled.

All the senshi began shouting hotels at random, some existing and some not.

"Guys, stop." Kokoro said. The screaming bout continued. "STOP IT!!!" It was completely quiet in the airport, with all eyes on Kokoro.

"Everyone else - get back to your lives." And they did so.

"Ok, everyone. Since it's MY story, we'll go to the Clarion Inn."

"The Clarion?" Everyone beamed. "YES!!"

"But I don't have any money." Kokoro replied. Everyone facefaulted.

"DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY??!" They all yelled.

"It's ok, it's ok. We'll get in."

"We will?" Minako the curious answered, "How?"

"WE WILL, OK???"

"Ok, ok!" Minako yelled.

Presto Changeo Sceneo : We're at the Clarion!

"Hello, how may I help you?" The clerk asked.

"Yes, I'd like 6 rooms and the President's Suite," Kokoro responded. Chatter flew through the Senshi about who will get the Prezzy's Suite.

"Ok, then, that'll be 5000 dollars a night."

"Ok, Mrs. Clerk, you'd better give me those rooms for free."

"Why would I?"

"You don't know who you messin' with." Kokoro got all ghetto.

"Sure. SECURITY!!!" Yet another call to security to stain Kokoro's record. "I guess we have to go through the drama again. Scarlet...Crisis...Power!!!"

"OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!" The clerk yelled.

"I am Sailor Scarlet! I don't like clerky-trash like you!" ("Clerky-trash?" Moon quietly commented. "And I thought Nega-trash was totally dub.)

"And if you don't give me those rooms for free, in the name of all things free, you're punished!!"

"You can have all the rooms you want," the Clerk said, trying to keep composure.

"Thank you!" Kokoro said, bright and bubbly.

"Hey, hold up!" KABOOM! Uranus magically appeared. "I am Sailor Uranus, and in the name of the Moon, I declare you to give those rooms back!"

"Yeah, Sailor Scarlet!" BOOM!! Neptune finally appeared.

"You're not in this fanfic at all!!! Scarlet Eradicating Eraser!!!"

And then Uranus and Neptune were eradicated from the story with a pink eraser.

Hotaru was crying. "How could you do such things???" She yelled, "I FEEL SO EMO!!!!!" She began to try to cut herself with Ami's edgeless, plastic nail filer.

"You will smile!"

Hotaru rolled on the floor trying to cut herself with the plastic nail filer.

"SMILE!!"

Suddenly, Hotaru got up, reposed her hair and smiled. "Yay!" She was so happy, she ran out the door. "I'm so happy!" She clicked her heels across the street and danced around all day. Unfortunately, Kokoro did not like this, so she powered down and took away the senshi.

Yosh. We are gonna make the world go 'round...now...

"Who gets the president's suite?"

"Yeah, who?"

"Who?"

"I wonder."

"It'll be that selfish Kokoro," Rei commented.

"She is SO selfish!" Usagi agreed.

"She left Hotaru on the other side of the street! Now she'll never come back to us, and go to school with us!" Minako agreed.

"She is the meanest authoress in the world!" Makoto commented a little too loudly.

Kokoro turned around. "PUNISHED!!! YOU ARE PUNISHED!!" She pointed at Mako. "YOU WILL BE A PREP THAT NOBODY LIKES!! EVER!!!"

Suddenly, the word "Hollister" appeared on her shirt. She was wearing a pair of booty shorts and flip flops. Her hair was blonde and her eyes were permanently stained blue. "NOO! I'm - I'm - I'm -"

"You're a prep." Kokoro answered. "A tall prep that no one likes."

I know this sounds more like the Senshi's vacation, but hey. They have to live somewhere to go to school!!! Read and review: The next chapter, they WILL go to school, I promise!


	3. Officially in Session

Senshi In School

Chapter 3

By Scarlet Starlet of the Wind

A/N: Finally, they make it to school and realize the American terrors of being the "new kid". (Or at least unpopular, which all gifted persons are.) And also, I know I took forever, at least it's here right?

So it ended up that Kokoro "the selfish" was in the President's Suite, and everyone else was in the other rooms.

"Okay, go kill each other for the best one!" Kokoro commanded, stealing a line from Cheaper By The Dozen and going into the president's suite.

It ended up that Usagi and Chibiusa got a room together, Rei and Minako, and Makoto and Setsuna. And don't forget human Luna and Artemis! Ami and Hotaru would have been together, but Hotaru couldn't get across the street, so she had to sleep there.

(Censorship Man: We're going to skip the night, everyone.

Me: But why??

Censorship Man: Some...er...inappropriate things took place in Luna and Artemis' room.

Me: Oh, so THAT'S how Diana was born...

Censorship Man: Shut up! You're hinting at last night's inappropriateness!

Me: Oh. Right. (whisper) This is how Diana was born.

Censorship Man: SHUT UP!!

Me: You know, "shut up" are two inappropriate words for small children.

Censorship Man: Yeah, SURE.)

_**The Next Morning...**_

_**Dun dun, DUNN...**_

Kokoro banged on Usagi and Rei's door. "WAKE UP!!!" She yelled, very loudly.

"I don't wanna wake up," Usagi yawned back and promptly went back to sleep. "Usagi!!" Kokoro banged on the door. "I have the keycard, Usagi! Don't make me use it!"

"I don't care..." Usagi yawned again. Rei opened the door before Kokoro's wrath could paint the walls scarlet.

"Gomen nasai, Kokoro." Rei said, letting Kokoro in.

Kokoro sighed, "I just woke everyone up and I know how to solve our problems." Kokoro magically produced cymbals from behind her back. "Muahaha..." She laughed softly.  
Rei muffled her laughter with her hands. This was going to be hilarious...

Kokoro sneaked over to Usagi's drool-covered bedside, cymbals in hand. "WAKE UP!!!"

Usagi woke up and snapped to attention. "Wha-"

_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!_ Kokoro clanged the cymbals. Though she could see what was going on, this scared the crap out of poor little Usagi and she jumped out of the bed, with sheets wrapped around her. The burrito squirmed, trying to break free. "Ok, ok, ok! Sorry!" The burrito finally made it out of its bondges, its odangoed head messy. "Now, go get dressed!" Kokoro left the room, slamming the door. Rei burst into a fit of laughter, until shot a dirty look by Usagi. She promptly became quiet.

_**Eventually, they all got dressed and stuff, which leads me to my next point...**_

_**The bus!!!**_

"Okay, everyone." Kokoro said, "This is your first day of Middle School, so bear with the people there, all right?"

"Wait, what about Hotaru?" Ami asked confusedly.

"Oh, she's on the other side of the street. She can catch a CDTA bus."

"Well, we're not going to school here, right?"

"Oh, heavens no. We're going to school over there."

"And, lyke--" Makoto immediately clamped her hands over her mouth. "I, lyke, can't, lyke, say, lyke, anything, lyke, but lyke!!!"

"Exactly, prep." Kokoro commented dryly, "A prep that no one likes."

"What, lyke, is, lyke, a, lyke, prep?"

"You," Kokoro answered.

"But, lyke, how, lyke, do, lyke, we, lyke, get, lyke, there, lyke?"

"This is where teleportation comes in handy. SUPER AUTHORESS TELEPORTATION!!!"

_**School day, school day, lovely, lovely school day...**_

"Hello, class!" The happy, perky teacher said.

"Hello, Mrs. Freako," The class replied in a monotone.

"I'm Mrs. Freako and I'm only saying that because we have several new students!" Mrs. Freako announced gladly. She promptly scanned the room for them. "Blue-Haired girl, stand up, please."

The nervous, smart blue-haired Ami stood up. "Um, actually, it's Ami."

"Whatever." The teacher replied. "Anyway, welcome. Say hi, class."

"Hi," The class replied in a monotone. Ami nervously sat back down.

"And then we have, um, that weird girl with the blackbirds or ravens or whatever...what's her name?"

Rei stood up disgruntedly (A/N: Is that a word?) "The name's Rei."

"FLAME SNIPER!!!" The class boomed and burst into talking about how Rei strikingly resembles Sailor Mars.

"Quiet down, class."

The class kept talking.

"I SAID, QUIET DOWN!!!!!!!!"

The class was silent.

"Thank you, Rei, and don't worry, the school counselor is always there for you."

Rei grimaced and sat down. "I'm beginning to hate this already," she mumbled.

"Tell me about it," Ami replied.

"Ok, now you...with the knots in the hair...the little pink one."

Chibi-Usa stood up.

"This is our smartest student, class. She skipped three grades!"

The class oohed, and aahed...

"My name is not "you with the knots in the hair, the little pink one", however, my name is Chibi-Usa."

"...How about Rini?"

Rini fainted from the sadness of being Rini. Because she knew people can't spell.

"Ok, class," Mrs. Freako said, "You've learned enough about the new kids, because it's time to go to first period! Bye, class!"

"Bye, Mrs. Freako." The class replied in a monotone.

_**The first day of school, here it comes!!**_

"First period," Usagi wandered around the school. "First period...room 101...Ah! There it is," Usagi walked inside the science classroom.

"Feh, look at that new kid. She probably thinks she's all that trying to look like Sailor Moon."

"Yeah, I've seen way better odangos - on Sailor Moon!"

The two breastless preps giggled at poor Usagi as she walked into her seat. The two kids next to her moved away. Something was weird about them...they all seemed to wear a brandname on their shirt.

"Psst, lyke." A voice came from somewhere, "Psst, lyke, psst, lyke!"

"Makoto?"

"Yeah, lyke, it's, lyke, me, lyke." Makoto said, taking the seat of one of the girls that had moved away from Usagi.

"You're in this class?"

"Yeah, lyke, I'm, lyke, in, lyke, this, lyke, class, lyke."

"Could you stop saying like?"

"I, lyke, can't, lyke, stop, lyke, saying lyke!!!" Mako lamented, "And, lyke, I, lyke, always, lyke, get, lyke, the, lyke, urge, lyke, to, lyke, buy, lyke, Hollister, lyke, clothes. And, lyke, no, lyke, one, lyke, likes, lyke me!!!"

"I like you."

"But, lyke, it's, lyke, not, lyke, the, lyke, same, lyke!!!" Makoto said, "And, lyke, I, lyke, hate, lyke, saying lyke at, lyke, the, lyke, end, lyke, of, lyke, every, lyke, word, lyke!!!"

The teacher walked into the room. "Good morning, class. This is science, and my name is Mr. Boring, and I'm only saying that because three of our new students are here!"

"Three?" Usagi said, "I thought it was only me and you!"

"Turn, lyke, around, lyke."

Usagi turned around and behind her was the normal girl Kokoro. "Konichiwa!" Kokoro said, "Remember me?"

"Take, lyke, this, lyke off, lyke, my, lyke, tongue!!! I, lyke, hate, lyke this!!!"

"It's punishment, and it's only for a day..."

"I, lyke, hate, lyke, this..." Makoto growled.

"Is there something you want to say to the class, Kokoro?" Mr. Boring asked suspiciously.

"...Well, it's only that I'm the authoress and I put the curse of "lyke" on her tongue."

"And, lyke, I, lyke, hate, lyke, this, lyke!!"

"Well, whatever."

**And so begins our school day. Since I want to get this on the site, this abruptly ends here. I know, bad ending, don't need to put me in grammar school or anything.**


End file.
